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Beimear... Swan Killer


The Issue At Hand

19:56 < gw> yeah she is

19:57 < gw> we disowned her after she killed a swan

20:00 < don> gw: lolwut?

20:01 < gw> she just snapped it's fucking neck

20:02 < gw> like a cheap pencil

20:06 < gw> so like

20:06 < gw> we were drinking

20:06 < gw> heavily

20:06 < gw> I think we were in rain

20:07 < gw> she fell on it

20:08 < gw> I have never seen anyons so horrified in all my life

20:09 < gw> yeah

20:09 < gw> see, she want up to it to feed it or pet it or something

20:09 < gw> it tried to take a bite out of her

20:10 < gw> she lost her footing on the damp grass

20:10 < gw> and *snap*

20:10 < gw> this was alongside the canal

20:11 < gw> near where rain is

20:13 < gw> let me find the name of the road

20:14 < gw> few nights ago

20:19 < gw> It's a hell of a lot more fucked up when it actually happens

20:20 < gw> rather than just hearing about it

Character Witnesses

"Beimear! you vomited on the bathroom door and all up the stairs D:"

"I personally am aroused at beimear"

"She woke up in his bed and thought she was on the couch."

"I want to eat her out and make her cum as I fuck her quietly"

"She stole my chocolate pudding"

"She clearly bit off more then she could chew"

"Where, when and why did beimear kill a swan?"

"A vote for beimear is a vote for abortion!"


"swans are fuckin gayfags but you shouldn't kill them"

"She murdered a *swan*, Joe!"

"Killian claims shenanigans!"

"I can't think of anything worthwhile apart from..."

"beimear isn't gay. She just kills swans"

Swan Philly Pasta


  • 1 (16 ounce) package uncooked rotini pasta
  • 3 tablespoons margarine
  • 1 pound skinless, boneless swan breast halves, or half a freshly murdered cygnet
  • 1 cup chopped onion
  • 1 cup chopped green bell pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1 teaspoon swan soup base
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1 pound shredded Swiss cheese


1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Grease a 9x11-inch baking dish.

2. Fill a large pot with lightly salted water and bring to a rolling boil over high heat. Once the water is boiling, stir in the rotini, and return to a boil. Cook uncovered, stirring occasionally, until the pasta has cooked through, but is still firm to the bite, about 8 minutes. Drain well in a colander set in the sink.

3. Melt the margarine in a large skillet over medium heat, and pan-fry the swan breasts until the meat is no longer pink inside and the outsides are golden brown, about 15 minutes. An instant-read thermometer inserted into the center should read at least 165 degrees F (74 degrees C). Cut the swan into bite-size strips, and set aside.

4. Cook the onion and green pepper in the same skillet until the onion is translucent, about 5 minutes. Sprinkle the vegetables with salt and black pepper, then stir in the swan soup base and water until the soup base has dissolved. Place the cooked pasta into the skillet, and stir to combine with the vegetables; mix in the swan strips and Swiss cheese until thoroughly combined. Spread the mixture into the prepared baking dish.

5. Bake in the preheated oven until the casserole is hot and the cheese has melted, about 15 minutes.