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Caine.
Caine.
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Revision as of 07:40, 30 March 2006

Illustrious Chairman, Justin/Cain, originally joined redbrick to write an article for An Tarbh.

I was a BBS Virgin, by 'Caine'

There are many despised sub-cultures clinging to existence on campus. From the DBES to CS students, these groups, ostracised from normal society, carry on their lives away from public scrutiny. One of these groups, perhaps the most secretive of them all, are those whose only interaction with society is on the BBS. I'm sure you've seen them, huddled over their monitors in the computer rooms talking and laughing to themselves as they send off another hilarious missive to their fellow nerds across campus. Therefore in the interests of investigative journalism, and to alleviate the boredom of a rainy afternoon, I donned the sobriquet 'Caine' and went undercover on the BBS to discover just what it is that is so funny.

The first thing I noticed as I logged on was the warm reception I got. Despite not knowing what was going on I was warmly welcomed into their society. I spent the first few minutes in observation, trying to follow their conversation, which seemed to centre on one user called 'Rabbit'. Bored to tears I changed the topic to the proposed November 14 SU walkout in an effort to find out if anybody was angry. Instead, I got an alternative plan that the SU would do well to consider, "kidnap Danny O'Hare and hold him to ransom".

It was at this stage that I was approached by another user, 'Thalia', with whom I spent the next fifteen minutes arguing about the Union and why it never did anything, etc. This conversation challenged my perceptions that these people knew nothing about what happened outside of the computer rooms as I was roundly thrashed before Thalia departed leaving me alone as all others had voted with their e-mail and slipped away from politics to another chat-room. Not knowing how anything worked, I spent the next five minutes trying to find the group again, which leaves me to thank 'Dauphin' for letting me in. Unfortunately, before I could press my advantage Dauphin had been stolen away by Mulder, from the Grattan building so I didn't get to experience what this cybersex is all about, but I did watch with interest as Dauphin and Mulder fornicated like rabbits over the next few minutes.

Meanwhile a fight had broken out between Jacques and Ericc that seemed to be covering up a mountain of sexual tension between them. Egged on, however by Bernice and Poster, Jacques found it difficult to be honest with Erricc and she took refuge in vague insinuations about the size of Ericc's equipment ( which is rather small by her accounts). In the end, of course, love won out and in a bizarre menage a quartre with Poster, Bernice and Jacuques and with me looking on interestedly, Ericc did the business and departed pronouncing himself well satisfied with the nights work. Dauphin and Mulder continued to exchange poetry and smoke the proverbial cigarette for the next few minutes before they too departed leaving me alone with Poster, Jacques and Bernice. Needless to say I quickly departed the hormone filled chat room and scurried home.

So the $64,000 dollar question, does it beat the bar? On the downside there is no alcohol, a point which cannot be under-emphasised, and it is very difficult to meet members of the opposite sex for anything more than fevered typing. On the upside the inhabitants are friendly and they talk the same bullshit sober that most of us need alcohol to talk. They also talk about the same things we do, politics, sex, genital size, Jacque's astonishing knowledge of sexual innuendo and the power rangers. I would highly recommend a look if any of the said topics interest you. But be warned, it may be sad but it is addictive. Thanks to everyone I mentioned in this article and the few I didn't.

Caine.