Freshers

Freshers, that unstable breed of member. There are too many types to be classified under one heading, so here are some grossly unfair generalisations.

The Non-Redbrick fresher: Well, who actually cares? There has only been one worth mentioning, and that was KatiefromClare, a legend in her own lunchtime, reputed to have shifted almost every (presumably) male in her year, greeted everyone with "Hi, I'm KatiefromClare" to which this writer often replied "Yeah, I know, fuck off", I was not alone in this.

The Redbrick fresher : These can be classified by the types below.

   * The Lurker: This type of fresher never posts, preferring to read the thousands of posts made every week without comment. They're wierd. Alternatively
       they will use mail, and OCCASIONALLY chat, but that's about it.
   * The Wanker: Logs onto Redbrick and starts a thread (usually with several others of his breed) about how someone is a raving faggot with syphillis. 
    This thread can be several yards long and quite often infuriates other more pleasant members into joining the thread, encouraging the wankers.
   * The Pedant: The fresher who knows EVERYTHING, he or she has an opinion about absolutely everything posted about on the boards, and knows far more about 
    it than you. Generally they don't last long, since cold hard facts are the best known bane to this creature.
   * The nauseatingly cute: Generally you will be able to recognise this poster from the feeling of bile rising towards your mouth when you read a post by 
them. Not so much cute as cewte, so sweet they could give you cavities.
   * The wierd-no-one-knows-what-they-look-like-but-all-the-lads-want-into-her-pants fresher: Almost always a she, infact a male member of this sub genus is 
    unheard of. Generally this type of fresher is much like the nauseatingly cute one, but with one minor difference. When she is verbally attacked on the boards, 
the people who defend her are exclusively male. Female members never defend her for some reason. It may be hormones. It is safe to assume that it is some bizzare 
type of courtship ritiual where the person who defends her the most will get to sleep with her. Or at least thats what the guys think.
   * The Facist: Generally a fresher with very strong opinions about either music or computers, the Oasis Vs Somethinggood or N64 Vs your PC arguments are quite 
often initiated or mainly argued by this type.

Generally these classifications are only applicable to freshers since after first year, they generally calm down into the generic Redbrick member, the stable calm type with their own opinions and not those from a book or magazine.

--Silk

Origionally from the Encyclopedia